Tidy house, tidy mind

Man, me in my farm clothes again. Hopefully will have a nicer shot or two over the weekend!

I had another great day today. Since I had done the dishes, including putting them away, last night before bed, I had spare time this morning so I cleaned the shower while I was in it (not super well, but it was a start), and I tidied up the lounge, which did not have much stuff in it to tidy anyway. I also cleaned the bathroom last night before bed, just the toilet and vanity. It then shows up all the spots that I still need to clean, but still I am feeling pretty gosh darn happy at the moment.

Plus work is going really well too. I have worked on the cheese bench every day except Monday, and then today I went to a teamwork meeting, which was quite inspiring in that everyone there really wants to work on lab morale (as in entire lab, not just chemistry). Hopefully all goes well and the momentum does not peter out.

Zara seems to have settled in nicely. She has been outside all day, not interested in playing with Stella, but I think that she is just intimidated by her at the moment. I took her for a walk up the hill, and I think that she will get into shape pretty quickly. She is a bit on the fat side at the moment (I know I can't talk!), which shows that even if they didn't care enough to walk her and play with her at least she wasn't starved. She does seem very keen to come inside, but I am sure she will be perfectly happy once she has settled down. Stella might have her nose out of joint a wee bit, but I am sure she will settle down herself soon enough. Plus we are making sure that we give her heaps of cuddles and attention as well. I have booked Zara into the vets tomorrow for a check up and vaccinations.

I am working on building my relationship with God. I saw a trailer, that looked like a speedway trailer today, so I said a prayer for Trent. It was not an overly good one, but it was a start. I did discover that he was on porn sites today, but I am sure that through prayer and belief and faith that this will stop soon enough. I do need to ensure that the changes I am making with myself are permanent and work on this first, but I can definitley pray for Trent, and family and friends at this time too.

Well there are dishes to be done, and washing to be folded, go the persuit of 'perfect' wife. Its funny but cousin L is posting on Facebook traits of a 1950's housewife, and everyone is having a laugh, but what is actually funny is that if we actually treated these as sensible rules to live by there would be far less divorce and discord in relationships. There is no harm in displaying that you love someone by taking care of their needs.

New dog, and one of the chickens layed an egg!

Me and Zara, the 'new' dog. This photo is awful when enlarged, but I get an idea of what T gets to look at daily. Very shameful! But "I'm working on it"

I had a pretty awesome day today. Didn't sleep particularly well, due to Stella barking at goodness knows what, and I just don't seem to sleep well when I have to get up. Doesn't help that I am photographing over the weekend as well, so no hope of a sleep in then either. Roll on next Wednesday ... lol

My day began well, by putting away all of the dishes before I left. It actually makes me feel so much happier when I see the kitchen clean and tidy. I will begin working on the bathroom in the next day or so. Not that there are big tasks, just the vanity and toilet, and shower/bath of course. Work was good. I had a few more companions today so that was cool, but I still got to work on cheese all day, so that was nice to do. Plus I sold my computer desk for $20 so that is some clutter gone, and $20 in my pocket (make that savings!)

After work finished I met L's husband J outside the fire station and collected Zara. She is not the prettiest of dogs, yet! Unfortunately she is a matt of knots underneath. Plus she is quite nervous (which is totally understandable), so once she gets comfortable I am sure she will be a bunch of fun. Poor Stella was dying to play with her, but I think she was just too scared. We took her for a walk down the farm, on a leash of course, and a couple of times she made to bolt. I put my t.shirt in her kennel for the night, so she gets used to my smell, so hopefully that helps. After I locked them up I heard the odd bark, and I thought it was Zara as she is obviously still unsettled. Finally I looked out the window and Zara was in her kennel, and Stella was in her run barking at Zara (not madcap barking, just a couple of quiet woofs). Fingers crossed all goes well, that is for sure. I want to take her to the vet for her shots, and a general going over, and hopefully a trim of all of those knots, poor wee poochy. I hope she comes to realise that she will have an awesome life with us, compared to being left in her kennel and fed only for two weeks!

I just realised that I forgot to thank Trent for bringing the kennel over! Arghhh. I must remember to do so when he gets home from the speedway meeting. I have been working at becoming an excellent 'wife' again today. I did a small load of washing, which is now hanging up on the inside clothes airer. I cooked tea, and did the dishes, and well, I was going to make a pudding, but I just realised that we don't have enough milk. Oh well. I also remembered this morning, that Carrie Underwood sings kind of religious songs, so I put her CD on for my driving today, which was really uplifting and great. I will have a hunt around for some more religious music, as they really do uplift me (both words and tunes).

And one of the chickens finally laid an egg! Hooray!!

Hope my photos upload today

29/06/10 - oh yep, still the same!

28/06/10 - dowdy, dowdy, dowdy, plus T!

With any luck, all my photos will upload tonight. 2 from yesterday, plus todays one. Pretty hard to tell the difference, as I dress the same dowdy way each time. But I am just in my farm clothes, so what the hey!

Had a great day today. Was on my own in Central Chemistry, so got to work at my own pace, on my own thing (well on the tests I had to do, obviously). There were only 4 of us, plus co-ordinator and technician, so I enjoyed it. It is nice being in a small, compact group like that. I think I had a pretty good attitude all day, I am working very hard at it.

Didn't walk very far tonight. Just up the hill race and back. I wanted to talk to R and he was at the shed, so we popped over there and chatted for 10 or so minutes. He is lending me his dog kennel and run for my new dog! Yay! And if T does not learn to love her in the next three weeks then she will be Mum and Dads new dog. She is a 5 year old cocker spaniel, roan blue in colour. A lady from work is giving her up, and by all accounts she really needs to as they don't sound like they are taking very good care of her at all. I am picking her up tomorrow, and I am so excited! *girly scream here* (and I don't do girly screams). I asked R how heavy the kennel and run were, and T offered to shift it for me! My face just cracked into a huge smile.

I have also been working very hard at being a good 'wife' to T. He suspects that it is because I want this dog, but I only found out about the dog yesterday so that is definitely not it. He was pretty grumpy when I got home but I stayed nice and level and calm. He did hurt my feelings at one point, and now I can't even remember what it was about, and I didn't react as normal, I just kept on walking our walk. I tidied up his small mess in the kitchen, cooked him dinner and did the dishes, all with a smile on my face and a happy heart. While he was grumpy when I first got home, by the time he was leaving for Hawera to work on his car, he was in a much better mood, and he helped me get my desk into my ute, etc, so I am very stoked! Normally if he would offer to help me get a desk into a ute I would snap, no, I can do it. But I have to trust that when he offers to do things like that, and collect the dog kennel and run, that it is because he cares.

I am feeling so blessed at the moment. I have begun having small conversations with God, which for a person raised strictly athiest is a big step. I am also contemplating purchasing a bible so I can read and learn more about being a calm, loving, forgiving, and tolerant person.

Scarey photo - x 2

Hopefully, now I have titled this entry 'scarey photo - x 2', I will actually be able to load up the 'scarey photo - x 2. Maybe we have rain fade, or some other similar disturbance.

Anyway, today was my first day back at work after my holiday. I felt pretty good in the morning. Had 15 minutes to spare so I put all the dishes away (dishwasher and rack), which is practically a first. In fact its practically a first that all the dishes had been done the night before by me, so way hey hey to me!

Not looking good for photo uploads tonight. Might try and add them tomorrow if I fail today.

Work went okay. I really need to kick myself in the arse there too, not just at home. I'm working on it, I swear! But, ack, its just so negative there, and I easily fall back into that negativity myself. I must work harder at being positive at work, I must work harder at being positive at work.

Walked Stella for around an hour when I got home, inspite of the weather. I didn't run as the races are so muddy that my shoes would get damaged. I will see how things are tomorrow, but if its like this it might be lucky if I get out for a walk, it is pure nasty out there.

I have been a 'good wife' to Trent today. Wished him a good day before I left, cooked tea, washed the dishes, and have been very pleasant. So I am feeling good!

Managed my first jog - of sorts

Post run and shower. I think I might need to girly myself up a bit for T!

Have been doing extrememly well today. I have been fairly even tempered and pleasant, not perfect but I cannot think of what exactly I may have been grumpy about, except that T wanted Kings Soup Mix in the Bacon and Kumera soup that I made, and I didn't. However that was not a major issue. I even managed to not say anything to T when he mentioned that his sisters entire family were going out to the Mangamingi Dog Sale, all I said was, well, hey, its her choice. So that was great for me. Thinking before I spoke and I wasn't nasty or mean or judgemental. Also when T questioned my 'need' for crackers and cheese, I chose to ignore him rather than argue the point. I think that I may have to say, 'T, I know you are trying to be helpful but criticizing me for eating only makes me want to eat more, so I feel in control, rather than you'. I do have to come up with something he can do that will help me, but I just don't know what that is just yet. I so hate being noticed, but want to be noticed, if that makes sense. No wonder men have a hard time working women out!

I walked Stella twice again today. In the morning T and I took her up to the top of the hill, then right down to the back. This afternoon T went to work on his mini-sprint so Stella and I went for a quick drive out the back and went for an hour's walk along one of the very quiet roads. I walked all the way out, as it was up-hill for the majority, and then I jogged all the way back. On the way back we had to stop and put an opossum out of its misery, which was bloody awful but I am quite impressed that I was able to do it.

I am really enjoying womenlivingwell-courtney's blog. It is really helping me change my focus from so selfish, to thinking about what T might want and/or need and just being a better person, especially around the house. I feel I am beginning to make quite good progress.

I can never come up with decent titles

The after pictures. Still not super tidy, and not how I want it but way better than the ...

before pictures. Aside from a total mess, just not very open or inviting

Here I am today in my 'supermarket shopping' attire. Big stand out is that my hair really needs doing, plus I look like I am standing to attention.

Funny how while I am out walking I can think of so many things that I want to write here, and then when I get here I can't remember most of what it was. So I did walk twice today. The second walk was just the dog and I, so I decided to 'double' what we normally do. Usual walk is either to the back of the farm or up the hill. This afternoon we went up the hill, and then to the back of the farm, plus the two short side races. Stella dog gave me a few looks as if to say 'great how you are taking me on a longer walk mum, but did you have to pick the yuckiest, blowiest, rainy day to start?'

One of my goals in my first post, of this series, was to get my scrapbooking/office type room reorganised and tidied. I made a start today (as evidenced by the photos above). Its still not perfect, but a hell of a lot better than it was. Plus I have decided to sell my old computer desk (only worth about $20, but still, its better than nothing) and my ab-circle-pro as I have barely used it (as evidenced by my current weight and shape). I mean, I should use it, but I don't. It doesn't interest me (I know, its only 3 minutes a day, but blah, I just don't want toooooo! (insert child whine here which I am working on stopping)). So I might be able to get $250-$350 for it (I think it was $450 new - what was I thinking?). All of which will go to assist me in my financial goals. Speaking of which ...

Just watched the Suze Orman show. I must programme into my head when she is on, as she does motivate me. Once I have completed my IR3's I am going to grab all of my bank statements from the last year and see exactly where all my money is going. I know its going to hurt, and I am going to be terribly embarassed, but we 'can not change what we don't acknowledge' (thanks Oprah).

Otherwise I have been in a pretty good mood today. I didn't watch much TV (was going to try to watch none (aside from Suze Orman and The Barefoot Investor), but T had it on and I got sucked in a bit), read a few magazines, walked twice, tidied up, and I haven't been too snarley (a couple of occassions, but I am noticing myself and trying to stop). So I sure do hope I keep it up!

A lot of work to be done

So this is me in all my glamour - that would be my farm clothes that I couldn't be bothered changing. I figure if I am going to attempt this daily photo, then I may as well be daily as 'me'

Drove back from Waipukurau to Eltham today. First off I had to go to the bank (with Mum and Dad - I'm still a child) to sort out my mortgage. It felt good though. My interest rate will be going from fixed at 8.8% to floating at 5.75%. It means that my minimum payments are less, so if I keep them the same then it will reduce my mortgage quicker. Plus I can pay off voluntary amounts of up to $1000.00 at a time, with no penalty. So I plan to pay the exact same amount as I have been paying, but from my wages as well (ie double the amount) so that should work extra fast.

The drive back from Waipuk was, quiet. I thought a lot and was in a pretty down mood - which was not so great for T. I discovered how much of a child I am, in my words and pointing out rediculous childlike things (as in I stopped myself numerous times, but didn't quite catch them all eg a typical one for me would be 'horsetruck' or 'horses'. I mean, come on grow up already! Plus it tends to be in an annoying childish voice - ugh). I also discovered how negative I can be about complete strangers. Again I stopped myself too many times to count, but still had a few slip-ups. I did manage to not get upset at my parents today (even though we were almost late for the bank appointment, as they ran into some people they know on the street so stopped to talk - I tried to keep my cool, and felt that I did pretty good, usually I would have given them a snarl). I also did not criticise T's driving at all, except in Eltham where he nearly pulled out in front of a car, but all I did was 'yelp', I didn't lecture, or say 'what the hell are you doing?' or anything.

The only problems we have had (aside from my depressed silence) is me being grumpy about getting him to cook dinner instead of me for once this week, and him poking me in the arms, and me telling him to stop, and when he didn't, causing a scene because it did actually hurt and he just does not seem to care. I told him that he didn't have any respect for me, and he replied that no, he doesn't. Time will tell if he meant this, or was just being his annoying, mean self (he thinks he's being funny). Hopefully, if I can keep working on myself and treating myself with respect, he will begin to as well.

So I think that I had a pretty good first day. It is good as to how aware I was of my behaviour, and my efforts to change them. Hopefully I will also be able to begin working on being a 'happy' person as well. My grumpy, negativity is certainly draining for me so it must be doubley so for T. At this point in time I really don't know how he lives with me at all.

Here I go again

Its 1.15am and I can't sleep so I decided to get up and wait for the soccer game, and, well, here I go again. I'm now a good 20-25kg overweight. Not nice at all. I seriously do not like myself at all, to the point of bordering on hate. Not just about my weight, but my attitude and outlook is just plain awful as well. Its currently a never ending cycle, I don't like myself so I eat, then I gain more weight, so I don't like myself, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I did not always have a weight problem, certainly not to this extent, until the last 5 years or so. Oh, but I did think I had one, when I weighed 63kg! What was I thinking? I am now bordering on 85kg! And my goal is for 65kg.

My bigger problem is my attitude. I was always short tempered. I was always opinionated. But was I always so hateful and negative? I just have a bad attitude about everything. Even Dad said 'if you are this cranky now what the heck are you going to be like when you get older?' And good point. I am so intolerant! I am just a nasty person. And such a child, to the point I had my sister organise me an afternoon tea like she does for her kids - aged 6, 3 and 11 months. I mean, what the hell is up with that?! Why am I so afraid to grow up? And why, when we went to dinner at Nix tonight was I obnoxious, demanding, 'I'm starving', eating crackers, and my maturity level was below that of the kids.

And yet, in part with that, I don't like to change because I don't like people to point myself out to myself. This extends to always 'hating my job', and too 'shy' to exercise when at home, plus not changing things about myself when I want to. Why is that? Why do I want to be centre of attention in such a negative way, and avoid it when it would be positive? Just plain weird.

Plus I used to love, love, love my animals. And while I still do, I don't play with or pat them very often. 'I don't have time' yet I have plenty of time for the tv, plus I want more and more and more, yet I don't enjoy the ones I have. Instead of enjoying the friends and animals and family I have, I live through facebook with aquaintances instead of real friends. And I talk a lot of talk, with no intention of walking the walk. I am so quick to judge others, when really I am sitting in judgement of myself. I guess I am projecting what I think about myself onto others so 'they are bad' and I am not, which makes myself feel worse as one really can't lie to oneself.

So I don't like myself, at all. In any way, shape, or form. I'm immature, cranky, nasty, overweight, watch too much tv, unsatisfied with what I have, always wanting more, don't save any money, judgemental, opinionated, nasty, childish, messy, untidy, ugly, introverted, impatient, selfish, and generally suck. So what am I going to do about it?

I decided yesterday that I would no longer say mean things about T's family. I don't like him criticizing mine so no doubt he doesn't like me criticizing his.

I am going to count to three and think before responding to people. Including listening more and talking (or interrupting) less. Think 'is this really worth being annoyed about?' 'Am I being selfish in this reaction?'

I am going to blog at least every second day about my progress so I can keep my changes to the fore. Including a daily photo of my life and what I need to work on.

Set goals and post them on my pin board, regardless of who will see it. Plus tidy my scrapbooking area!

Walk or run Stella everyday, aiming for half marathon on October 3rd. Weighloss of 10kg by October 1st.

Work on becoming an adult. Get responsible with my money, and house, and photographic business.

A recent photo where I do not actually hate the image. Me and my babies.

Feeling blerky

Well on the exercise front I have been great. I either ran or cycled for 6 days, then had one day off. Then I ran the next two days before I started feeling 'blerky'. I feel kinda nautious, sickish. Not like I'm going to be sick, just yucky. So I didn't do anything yesterday. Im still feeling a bit the same today, but I did manage to cycle for 60 mins on the indoor trainer when I was feeling not so bad. Now I know I do get a bit like this in the lead up to my period, but, now I can't remember if it lasts for longer than a day, in fact I don't even think it used to last for a day. So maybe I am pregnant. Or am I just not remembering right and I'm not pregnant, just hoping to be. Arghhhhh. Time will tell I guess. I was tempted to go out and buy a test today, but decided to save my $20 and wait a wee bit longer. Fingers and everything else crossed. And if I am preggers I have Mr Kissick to thank as he gave me a parsley plant as a thank you for some horse manure, and apparently when a woman is gifted a parsley plant she gets pregnant! YAY!!

Time to resume training

Well, considering it has been around 20 months since the Coast to Coast, and I have done exactly no exercise since then, I think the time is nigh to get restarted. I have been trying to work out when exactly I can get any training in, and I have figured out this. Days I work - days 1-3 I plan to work with one of the horses, so anything exercisey is out (since I work a 12 hour day, have a half hour commute each way - get to horses at 6.30pm, ride or whatever until 8.00pm, home by 8.20pm, bed by 8.30-9.00pm). On day four I will try to get out for a run after tea, from say 7.30-8.30pm. On days off I will do house work 7.00-8.00am. Help hose out etc til 9.00am, have breakie, then run, cycle or kayak from 10.00-12.00 noon (include drive time to where ever I wanna train that day). 12.00noon is lunch. 12.30 head to horses and hopefully ride all 3. Home by 5.00pm. Make dinner. Then run or cycle or kayak from 6.00-8.00 (include drive time) and then bed. I need to do most running and mountain biking in dog friendly places so I can run around the farm most days, and I think it should be ok to bike on one of the unsealed roads up the way - depends on what affect this may have on Stellas poor wee feet. I really really hope I can get started on this. Starting is so hard, especially when I now weigh 80kgs and I am totally paranoid of what other people think of me. Fingers crossed. And thank heavens for daylight savings so I do actually have a bit more time in my day!

Tweedle dee

Toi toi plants, Aoere Rd, Eltham, South Taranaki

I was very good today. I actually managed to get our bedroom tidy, and it has not been tidy since I moved in 8 or 9 months ago! Shocking I know, and it's still not perfect, but it is so so so much better than it was. Aparently to be able to fit all clothes into drawers and closet one had to throw out all the clothes that for the past few years I have been say, yeah I will wear that again someday, and just haven't. I feel good about it now. Such a difference without the clutter. I do have to tidy up one dressing table though, and put half the stuff into the bathroom cabinet instead of being on the dresser. But there you go. Im rapt, I even painted my nails today in celebration.

Trent James laughing his head off at me, again!

Trent and I went for a wee drive up the road today to see if we could find the rich English ladies place with the horse arena's etc, and as there were floats and trucks heading that way we thought that we may as well. Well we thought that we found it but couldn't get all the way down as there were quite a few sheep on the road and it was going to be a slow journey so we turned around. Now I'm not so sure that we did find it as we couldn't see any floats etc parked down there, and no sign of any horses, so we may have to ask the boss again where exactly it is. I did take a few photos on the trip though. I love my lil digital camera, so much more portable than my big SLR one, but I love my big SLR for events - totally kicking myself that I left it behind at my sisters on my last visit. And I would love to have it here for a dressage comp next weekend. Oh well, serves me right I guess. Wonder how much it would cost to get it couriered over as who knows when I am next visiting, and Ma n Pa are sure taking their time about visiting us, but then again it is my dog that is holding them up with her lumps and bumps and vet visits.

Bush clad gully, so pretty!

I got a great ride on the two horses today as well. I procrastinate about heading out there, as it seems such a mission, but once I am finally up and riding all is great. I have such a great time, pity I'm so allergic. I must remember to take my tablets BEFORE heading out for a ride instead of taking them when I get home, as it's just a wee bit too late by then and I have a wee stretch of uncomfortableness until the antihistamine kicks in.

Trent with Chanelle, he loves her really!

Feeling run down

Our beloved Yoki cat got hit by a vehicle and died a couple of days ago. I'm still crying.

Farewell my beloved Yoki cat. I miss you terribly and wish you could have been with us for longer. Will love you always.

I have been feeling very run down of late. Well its hard to say really. I have good days, and then I have not so good days. Days where I just feel flat, or a bit sick, or blah, and up and down days. I have had this nagging cough for ages now too. Comes and goes as well. Getting a wee bit sick of it all, and I just want to feel good, normal, great. So what is the problem? Allergy to the horses? I think that may be part of it. Reflux? Well thats what the doc said, which leads onto diet. Diet? Yep I unfortunately think that diet may be the key. I eat way too much chocolate, like a bar a day or so. Drink way too much fizz, like maybe 600mL a day or less. And lately we have not been eating very well for tea at all. Hardly any veges, and I don't eat a heck of a lot of fruit, if any. So diet is going to have to change, again! What is the key to sticking with it, that is my problem. I can start eating well, and feeling well, and then I will stop and wonder why I'm not feeling so great again. Don't seem to learn from my diet mistakes that easily. Another key indicator that it is mostly diet is that my skin is shocking. Zitty, and just generally unhealthy looking. I think I need to do a few labels up with the simple word DIET on it and really focus on what it is I am eating. Even if I continue to eat a few chocolates and drink a few fizzys, as long as I up the veges and water I can only get better. Sounds simple ah! Previous behaviours indicate that this is not so.

Stella looking a bit 'Ewok' like. She did manage to 'sit' and 'stay' for once though.

Tonight Trent has gone to Wanganui to race 'The Slug'. I wasn't feeling particularly well today and decided at about 4pm, after an afternoon nap, that I wouldn't go. It worked out well as it meant that I could finish washing out the milking shed etc so Trent could get out of here, otherwise he would have been really late. I wish I had gone to see him, but then again I am glad that I didn't because I think the drive would make me feel worse. Its a swing day today. Feel ok one minute then just plain blah the next. I have had a heap of veges for tea, silverbeet, tomatoes and carrots, plus a small steak, so that is a good start on my journey to healthy eating.

Trent hosing out the other day, with a lil' black Stella dog in the background.

Only other thing that we did today was go and watch a Kaponga v Coastal rugby game. Trent thinks he might play again this year, which is great as I always did want me a rugby player.

Herd pregnancy testing, and more

The vets 3 cutie patootie dogs

We had to pregnancy test the herd this morning. Was quite good. Started at 9am, and was all finished by 11am, including shed clean up etc. The vet had 3 cute dogs, as evidenced by the photo. Trent wouldn't let me have one though. Such a meanie. We have 13% empty, which is way up on the 5% last year so Trent is a little disappointed. However it seems to be about the average for the season, so its not too bad.

Trent rolling his sleeves up, about to get dirty

After PTing we then had a quick wash and heading into Hawera to get some groceries, and I got lunch too, for being such a great helper. Pity I was not aware I was getting a cafe lunch because I had two pieces of slice and a marshmellow easter egg before going to town and so was pretty full already. I still ordered Chicken Fettachine (sp?) and ate half of it. Trent ate a quarter, so we didn't leave too much behind. Supermarket shopping. Yeah yeah. No exciting tales there.

The vet and Trent testing the cows

I also went to Paper Plus, my favourite store. Ok one of my favourite stores. I got 20 L shaped folders, well you know the ones, joined on two sides only so you can slip papers into them. I also got a box of envelopes, and a NZ House and Garden magazine, which Trent didn't spot until he saw me reading it while he went into the bank. Considering he slipped in a couple of packets of marshmellow eggs into the trolley at the supermarket, alls fair in love and spending.

Crazy Trent and the upside down dog Stella

I also rode my horses, see my other blog for details ... lol. And now I'm cooking tea and waiting for Trent to return so we can eat it. Unfortunately I have had a major pigout on the roast lamb already ... oooops

All alone

for a few hours tonight anyway ... yay! I do so love me some alone time.

Yoki playing under the local rag

Today is day 2 off. Yesterday I had another interview with the South Taranaki District Council. It is for a job at the contact centre, which is mostly phonecalls, with one day out of every six on the front counter. It looked quite fun when I was there yesterday, scarey too as there is quite a system to work out, plus over 170 staff (I think) to know who to transfer calls to. If I get it good, as then I will be, once again, a regular Mon to Fri worker. If I don't, well the job hunt continues. And there are not that many jobs around at the moment. Luckily if I do get stuck we can survive on Trent's income, at least for a while. I will have to curb my spending though.

Stella watching hawks fly, and wondering how to catch them

I had a great ride on the horses today. I had an absolute ball. I am going to attempt to do the winter dressage series at Stratford, provided I get the horses all trained up, and I can get some transport. I think I will pop onto Trade-me after this and see if there are any floats for sale at the moment. Of course, I can't actually afford one at the moment, but at least I can get some kind of focus towards one.

Trent and Rog spraying the drains so they don't get blocked

Which actually reminds me that I had better get onto my bank accounts and swap some money around before I spend it. Plus pay a bit more off to Ma n Pa.



Tomorrow we are off to see the heffiers, and Trents sisters family, and to the scrapbook shop in Inglewood, that Trent doesn't want to go to, and says we aren't going to, but I know he will let me go to! He's just cheeky like that.



Friday we have to pregnancy test the herd, and I better go to the supermarket and top up lots of stuff, before resuming work on Saturday. Never ending circle of life ah!

Owning a dog is awesome because

I would not have gone for 1 walk, let alone 2 walks today, the weather was awful. However, because of the dog I got all dressed up in my wet weather garb, twice, and braved the wet and windy day. Thanks Stella dog!

Tuesday

A walk we did ages ago up Mt Egmont/Taranaki

Last night we had T's sister and bro in law, plus the kidlets over for tea. I did a giant roast pork, with carrots, potatoes and corn on the cob all from our garden, and peas, pumpkin and kumara from the store. I also made a blackberry and apple crumble for dessert. The blackberries came from some bushes at the back of the farm that missed out on being sprayed this year. I plan to use them a lot as no doubt they will not be there again next year - being a noxious weed they need to be sprayed out, but they are oh so yummy.

The kidlets were fun as per usual. Full on screaming at times, but generally good fun. C wanted to do a puzzle that we had, G and J had great fun hammering down some pegs, and playing with the cat and dog balls that were lying around the house. Actually since Stella is an outside dog someone must have bought her balls inside! Then we attempted to have a game of Hairy McLeary, however you are supposed to play by C's madeup rules, and it wasn't all that fun, but hey, she's four, whadda ya gonna do? Unfortunately the game had a dice and throw-cup, which proceeded to get fought over for the remainder of the night!

Today T and I zoomed into NP so I could get some interview clothes for tomorrow. I spent way too much money, and ended up buying $100 worth of bra's and knickers as well. I got one pair of dress pants, which look pretty good, and 4 shirts. 1 shirt I really like a lot and will be suitable for going out to dinner with the voucher T got from the farm owner for Christmas - YAY! I shall look forward to going out for dinner now I actually have something nice to wear.

After spending copious amounts on clothes we cruised home, where I watched the end of Oprah, and then cruised into Hawera to have a quick rece of the Library before tomorrows interview. I haven't been nervous up until now, but now I'm feeling a few butterflies. I really hope it goes well tomorrow as I feel like it could be the start of a career for me, finally. I can see where it could go. Library assistant, to librarian, to managing a section, to managing the whole library. I do need to get the job first though!

Only other thing I did today was hopefully de-flea the cat. There is a huge outbreak of fleas, apparently, at the moment, and our wee Yoki has not gone unscathed. Damn awful things. I wonder what a fleas purpose in life is? I mean like flies help dead animals break down by laying their eggs, which turn into maggots and help the body decompose, so what is the purpose of the flea?

Yoki having a wee sleep in the sun, not today, there was not much sun today

Motor racing in the background

It's been 7 months since I moved to Eltham and began living with the Naki boy, and I am finally beginning to get settled in and feel in control of my life. Over the last month we have rescued 1 kitten, named Yoko, and 1 dog, named Stella. Yoko was discovered in the house paddock, right next to a giant cow pat, yowling her head off - hence the name Yoko (Ono). The yowling was a result of her being pretty much blinded by cat flu, her eyes were pussed shut, it was oooky. She is all good now though, as the picture below shows.

Yoko, 'I'm so cute'

Stella was in the local paper as one of two dogs about to be put to sleep. I originally went to get the other dog as he was a huntaway type and would have been great for the farm. I just missed him however, yet poor wee Stella was still there. A quick phonecall to Trent, with a large amount of badgering, meant that I came home with a Black Lab X Kelpie who has more energy than the energiser bunny!

Stella. Don't I just look like I could run all day!

My job at Fonterra is ok. I really enjoy the people that I work with, but the work itself is not as much as I thought it would be. Some days I have been finished by lunch, which then means I have 6 hours to kill in the afternoon. This is very, very hard as there is nothing to kill it with, unless I want to wash windows or some other such task, which I don't. No offence, but I am not employed as a cleaner. I do all the dishes, and wipe down my bench, and clean out the fume cupboard that I use, I have no problem with that, but too much else, yeah, Nah! I have gotten better at spreading my work out over the day, but I am dreading winter as they other staff members tell me it is pretty much dead!

Because of this I have been job hunting again. Not only because there is not much work to keep me occupied, but also because my contract runs out in August and there has been no mention of either extending my contract, or taking me on permanently. So I have an interview on Wednesday with the South Taranaki District Council for a position as a library assistant. I am heading into this job proposition with the idea that I am going to really strive to get somewhere. Beginning as an assistant, moving onto a qualified librarian, and then managing a section of the library, then onto library management. I think this is actually a job that I could see myself doing long term. I have to get the job first of course, so I am very, very hopeful that I will. Time will tell, hopefully not too much time after the interview on Wednesday that is!

T in 'The Tank' - thank heavens he has a fun hobby!

Relationship is going very well. We haven't even had a fight yet! And thats in almost a year and a half! I get the odd sulks of course, and he has his moments, but we have not had a screaming, arguing row at all. Very impressive for me! Maybe I'm growing up. Nahh that will never happen. So I am very happy at this stage in my life. I did have a couple of weeks, maybe a month, of feeling really down, and tired, and blue, but I seem to have popped out of that now. Not sure if I have worked myself out of it or whether it is just cyclical, I guess time will tell. I think that I worked out that the key for me was that by watching too much TV to escape the reality of my life, meant that I was not working on aspects of my life that would make me happy with my life, if that makes sense.

Time to head out and walk the dog!

Sick day

So I wanted a couple of days off this week, due to the fact it rained all weekend and I didn't get any of my stuff shifted down to the folks. Problem is that I just feel way too guilty to be able to pull a sick day when I'm not sick so yesterday I was a good girl and headed off to work. Then it turns out I was getting sick. Not 'I can't possibly work' sick, just the good ol' 'bugger I'm getting a cold' sick. One benefit of working in customer services is if you get very sniffly, to the point you are sneezing the entire time whilst trying to serve customers, you get sent home. YAY! Woke up this morning still feeling a bit under the weather so I called in sick, which meant I got to take a couple of loads of stuff to the parents, and I got to go and see my neices swimming lesson.

Isn't she, pretty in pink!

I have not seen my neice swim for over a year now, aside from summer time in their pool. She used to have swim lessons on a Monday, and I used to work Tues-Sat, so I was a regular viewer of her lessons. Since we have all shifted around she now has lessons on Tues, and I work Mon-Fri, so there just has not been the opportunity, until today. My goodness she is a great swimmer now. Dolphin diving, backstroke, freestyle, all coming together - fantastic for a 4 year old. Well in a few months she will be 5, but still, WOW! Its unfortunate that I will be moving so far away, but with a work schedule of 4 days on, 4 days off I will make the effort to visit regularly to catch up with all the fam-damn-ly. The cool thing about shifting so far away is I now have someone I can go away and stay with (the biggest downer of having my entire immediate family living in the same tiny town is I had nowhere else to go ... lol).

One step, two step, tick-i-ley under there

Little neice was having a good time too. She wasn't keen on hopping into their pool over summer, unless the temp was over 24 deg C or something. However this pool is nicely heated so she was in like Flynn, whoever Flynn was. She had a great time, hanging off my sister, swimming around. She is even quite happy to get dunked under water, all-be-it briefly, but hey, she is only 20 months. She is such a cheeky wee thing, loves having her photo taken, but then again don't they all. Methinks it helps having digital so they can see the picture instantly, absolutely no concept of having to wait for film processing. Ahh the age of INSTANT, they all want it NOW.

Splish splash

So I think my sister is a great Mum. I am so jealous, but hey, dems the breaks. Maybe oneday my day will come, maybe not. I shall just have to focus on my farmer boy, my horses, and finally my science career, and enjoy all my neices and nephew, and be thankful that when they are tired and grizzly and have a stinky bum, its not my problem. Hehehe

Five days of work to go

... well after this weekend anyway. YAY! So I opened a new bank account today. I thought it was going to be simple, then when I was there I thought I wasn't going to be able to at all, but luckily the bank staff were being nice and they let me open one. Apparently their policy is to not open any personal cheque account unless you open it with $2300.00 or something similar. Ummmm, really? Nope, don't have that. And to open a savings account you need $5000.00. Ok I will check my other pocket. Ummmm, nope, don't have that either. Fortunately they asked me why I was opening the account, and when they learned that I was planning on having my new jobs wages being direct credited into it they were fine with it. So YAY, I have a new bank, and account. And in a week's time, well in a little over a weeks time, plus two weeks until my first pay comes through, I will be able to use it.

Hmmmm, food for yesterday. I didn't get a chance to enter it yesterday because I had a wee visitor last night, only briefly, but enough so as I could not be bothered coming online to enter it. Two toast, butter and jam for breakie. Grapes for morning tea. Half a can cream styled corn for lunch. Grapes, dried nectarine, bagel chips, fruit and nuts for afternoon tea. Macaroni cheese, mushrooms and tomato, 2 small pieces of chicken for dinner. And plenty of water.

Food today. Porridge, milk and brown sugar for breakie. Dried nectarine, nuts and dried fruit, bagel chip for morning tea. Half a can cream styled corn for lunch. Dried nectarine, bagel chips, and fruit and nuts for afternoon tea. Macaroni cheese, mushrooms and tomato, pork slice. Not enough water by a long shot today. I think it's because it was cold. Better go and get myself a glass right now!

Quick food post

So 2 x toast, butter and jam for breakfast. Half a carrot for morning tea. Half a can of spaghetti for lunch. Half a carrot and nuts and raisins for afternoon tea. Three pieces of chicken, a carrot, and peas for dinner. Also drank plenty of water. Happy with my food today.

Spent exactly no money (exactly no money to spend) but its payday tonight so Wheeeeee!

And my lovely DFHHBF phoned me tonight, I haven't told him but I love him *giggle*. Don't want to freak him out, even though I am moving across country to live with him in a week and a half .... lol Oh and DFHHBF stands for dairy farming horse hating boyfriend