A lot of work to be done

So this is me in all my glamour - that would be my farm clothes that I couldn't be bothered changing. I figure if I am going to attempt this daily photo, then I may as well be daily as 'me'

Drove back from Waipukurau to Eltham today. First off I had to go to the bank (with Mum and Dad - I'm still a child) to sort out my mortgage. It felt good though. My interest rate will be going from fixed at 8.8% to floating at 5.75%. It means that my minimum payments are less, so if I keep them the same then it will reduce my mortgage quicker. Plus I can pay off voluntary amounts of up to $1000.00 at a time, with no penalty. So I plan to pay the exact same amount as I have been paying, but from my wages as well (ie double the amount) so that should work extra fast.

The drive back from Waipuk was, quiet. I thought a lot and was in a pretty down mood - which was not so great for T. I discovered how much of a child I am, in my words and pointing out rediculous childlike things (as in I stopped myself numerous times, but didn't quite catch them all eg a typical one for me would be 'horsetruck' or 'horses'. I mean, come on grow up already! Plus it tends to be in an annoying childish voice - ugh). I also discovered how negative I can be about complete strangers. Again I stopped myself too many times to count, but still had a few slip-ups. I did manage to not get upset at my parents today (even though we were almost late for the bank appointment, as they ran into some people they know on the street so stopped to talk - I tried to keep my cool, and felt that I did pretty good, usually I would have given them a snarl). I also did not criticise T's driving at all, except in Eltham where he nearly pulled out in front of a car, but all I did was 'yelp', I didn't lecture, or say 'what the hell are you doing?' or anything.

The only problems we have had (aside from my depressed silence) is me being grumpy about getting him to cook dinner instead of me for once this week, and him poking me in the arms, and me telling him to stop, and when he didn't, causing a scene because it did actually hurt and he just does not seem to care. I told him that he didn't have any respect for me, and he replied that no, he doesn't. Time will tell if he meant this, or was just being his annoying, mean self (he thinks he's being funny). Hopefully, if I can keep working on myself and treating myself with respect, he will begin to as well.

So I think that I had a pretty good first day. It is good as to how aware I was of my behaviour, and my efforts to change them. Hopefully I will also be able to begin working on being a 'happy' person as well. My grumpy, negativity is certainly draining for me so it must be doubley so for T. At this point in time I really don't know how he lives with me at all.