I had lunch today with some of my ex colleagues, which was FUN! It was great to see them all again, and particularly good to see M, who had her baby 3 weeks ago. I had been planning on seeing her sooner, but I wanted to have the results from our IVF first, when I wouldn't be quite as stressed out. She is such a cute baby. I didn't hold her, not because it would upset me, but because I really am nervous of 'new borns'. I know I will be fine with my own, but other peoples make me nervous.
And just now there was a FB announcement that my friend has had her baby, which is very cool! She is the oldest of 4 sisters, and the last to have a baby, and I know it used to upset her. Of course I am jealous, especially when our IVF has only just failed. But I'm not upset, just jealous. I WANT ONE
So all of this makes me feel really wistful. I really can't wait until we have kids of our own, whether they are biological or adopted or foster kids, I just want some! I want to be a part of the 'mummy' group. I want to read them stories, and play games, and paint pictures. I want to buy toys, and books, and children's clothes. I want to have routines, or at least try and have routines. And I want to take thousands and thousands of photos.
Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue!
Ladies on the FB group keep talking about Circle Bloom, a visualisation CD. And I thought about buying it. I had it all set to process (for the download to my computer). But I changed my mind. I don't know if I am a visualisation person or not, and I'm not blowing $59US to find out. I shall mull it over for a few days before I do/don't decide to get it. I might wait until after our review appointment before making any decisions. This, I might add, is very grown up of me. Normally I spend the $$ and worry about whether I will use it, or not, later.