One of the benefits of being childless, is that TJL and I don't have to 'make time for each other'. Considering we live and 'work' together 24/7, time together is not of a shortage around here.
I have to remind myself of this when I read articles that talk about the importance of couples making time to be together, to keep their relationships healthy. The importance of date nights, and dinners, and switching off the TV and computers, to sit down and really communicate.
Sometimes I get myself into a wee bit of a stew over how well TJL and I are communicating. We go out for lunch and we don't have a deep conversation, or at times any conversation at all. Since my nieces visit we have been having dinner at the dining room table. We can see the TV from there, theres not a lot of deep and meaningful conversations happening here either.
And so I worry that we won't keep up with each other, that we will grow apart and not together, that we will one day discover that we have nothing in common.
And then I remember
We are talking and communicating all. day. long! I know exactly what is happening over his work day, because I am either right there by his side, or he comes inside straight afterwards and tells me about it. And visa versa.
We haven't spent the day away from each other, we don't need to 'catch up' with what is going on in each others lives, we already know.
So, as it turns out, we are the lucky ones. We currently don't have to work hard on spending time together and communicating. I know that when/if children do make an appearance in our home then things will change and we will have to make somewhat more of an effort. But for the time being, its just plain old easy for us. One less thing to worry about, and that can not be anything other than a blessing.
The IVF roller coaster has begun its final journey in our lives.
I began BCP on Tuesday, which goes for about 3 weeks, so just living in the easy bit at the moment.
Provided everything goes well, egg collection is at the end of August, so early/mid Sept will be when we have our answer.
If it works, well, fantastic of course.
If it doesn't work, then we have at least 1 embryo for FET, provided it thaws ok.
If all avenues fail then will begin the (re)discussion as to whether we wish to proceed with Home for Life, or to live childless forever.
I have pretty middle of the road feelings about all of it.
Even if we remain childless I am getting fairly inspired to get involved in orphanages overseas, both financial and hands on, so there are options out there for us, whatever the outcome.
And that is a great feeling!