Friends baby day

I had lunch today with some of my ex colleagues, which was FUN!  It was great to see them all again, and particularly good to see M, who had her baby 3 weeks ago.  I had been planning on seeing her sooner, but I wanted to have the results from our IVF first, when I wouldn't be quite as stressed out.  She is such a cute baby.  I didn't hold her, not because it would upset me, but because I really am nervous of 'new borns'.  I know I will be fine with my own, but other peoples make me nervous.

And just now there was a FB announcement that my friend has had her baby, which is very cool!  She is the oldest of 4 sisters, and the last to have a baby, and I know it used to upset her.  Of course I am jealous, especially when our IVF has only just failed.  But I'm not upset, just jealous.  I  WANT  ONE

So all of this makes me feel really wistful.  I really can't wait until we have kids of our own, whether they are biological or adopted or foster kids, I just want some!  I want to be a part of the 'mummy' group.  I want to read them stories, and play games, and paint pictures.  I want to buy toys, and books, and children's clothes.  I want to have routines, or at least try and have routines.  And I want to take thousands and thousands of photos.

Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue!

Ladies on the FB group keep talking about Circle Bloom, a visualisation CD.  And I thought about buying it.  I had it all set to process (for the download to my computer).  But I changed my mind.  I don't know if I am a visualisation person or not, and I'm not blowing $59US to find out.  I shall mull it over for a few days before I do/don't decide to get it.  I might wait until after our review appointment before making any decisions.  This, I might add, is very grown up of me.  Normally I spend the $$ and worry about whether I will use it, or not, later.