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So why do I do it? I actually think that it stems from a wanting to 'belong', because even though I say I 'don't care' that I don't fit in, and I 'don't care' what others think of me, and I actually don't envision myself being 'friends' with the vast majority of them, I still want to be accepted as one of them. What is it about the human condition that means we crave acceptance, even from those we don't particularly like? I do manage to go for periods of time where I don't participate in these conversations, but it really just means that I work mostly in silence, and even then it doesn't stop people approaching and engaging me in gossip conversations. I guess I just have to work harder in driving conversations in other directions. What I need is a list of topics to achieve this .... oh it might just be easier to stay quiet.
All the gossip also means that the work environment is split into cliques, which is what happens at High School, not a workplace full of women from their 20's to their 60's, and to be perfectly honest it tends to be the older ones who gossip the most. Not to mention the 'nastiness' that they direct towards others in the company - people who they deem to eat too much 'that guy always has a HUGE breakfast, look at how many eggs he has', people who have conditions such as turrets, it's just total juvenile behaviour and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I am just clinging onto the fact that I only have 12 weeks to go! Hooray! I just have to keep my mouth shut, and my brain active until then (well beyond then too!) Starting with tomorrow, I shall not gossip! I shall not speak ill of anyone (including other drivers on the road)! And I shall change my train of thought each time I get judgemental about people engaging in activities that I do not agree with, and each time I get jealous of other people, I shall direct my train of thought towards my many blessings.