Today I decided to have a 'day off', and to just hang around and relax. The difference to having this day and one of my usual 'lazy' days, is that today I am choosing to do it without the guilt.
My job involves four long 12 hour days of work, followed by 4 days off. People, TJL in particular, see the 4 days off and figure that I have the life of Reilly (note to self: Google Reilly after this to see where exactly that saying came from). But those four 12 hour days really take it out of you, and usually on my first day off I tend to laze around doing next to nothing, but I feel guilty about it, which wears me out. Quite often at this time of year I may have one or two days 'off' photographing an event, so taking into account the amount of time it takes to sort through them all (anywhere from 1000-3000 photos), my days off usually aren't. In which case work colleagues say 'but yeah, that's not really work when you enjoy it'. *sigh*
And then there is the guilt. I don't fully relax knowing TJL wants me to vacuum, wash, fold, garden, cook, clean, help milk, walk dog, shift calves, clean the fishtank, you know - the endless list. Not to mention what I want to do - catch up on emails, blogs, FB, read my bible and ever growing reading list. Not to mention pay bills, sort out filing, finances and accounts.
So I forever feel ex.hau.sted! Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending stream of people who 'want something' from me. Work expectations - I can work my bench, plus the bench of a colleague away, plus do all of my sections dishes, and transcription check the work of colleagues from 2 other sections, and then do other sections dishes, all in my 12 hour day. What everyone else is up to is beyond me (especially seeing as how some of them then stay on and work a bit late! To do what? Aside from working their bench, I have done everything else). And in a typical work environment, the one who works 'the hardest' then gets even more work to do as bosses know it will get done. Home expectations have been listed above. Photography expectations that I go out and photograph an event and have the photos all loaded within a week (does not happen!) Friends and family expectations - visiting, socialising, gifts, food! See, I have just worn myself out thinking about it.
Today is just about being 'free'. I am not going to do anything. at. all. In fact I am reading blogs and emails, reading magazines and books, and watching TV. And I am NOT going to feel guilty about it. Mind you, perhaps me doth protest too much and I am feeling guilty! Tough!
Following are some photos I took today - see I have at least left the house, TWICE. Once to shift calves, and once to see the new bulls and what TJL is up to.
Flowers in the garden
TJL - who says 'stop putting photos of me on FB', but I know he doesn't mind really.
TJL with Stella - look at those pleading eyes - 'Help me Mum!' Is it any wonder she is out of control and jumps all over him! TJL is just asking for it.
Borrowing MY label maker to label his tool box thingee - I wonder if it will be returned!
Heckle and Jeckle
Latest arrivals (as of today at 1.30pm) Starsky and Hutch
Super Dog Stella