"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Monday, January 03, 2011

It's all about me ...

... but not in the way you would think.

So I finally got home today, and after 3.5 hours of thinking, I was excited to be home.  Eager to receive the greeting from my significant other, who would be waiting for me like an excited puppy.  Cue ...

*Bubble Burst*

I'm pretty sure most of my greeting consisted of 'Hello MJ', and then I think there was some talk about mini-sprint race cars and what he has been up to.


In, what feels like ALL the blogs I read, the wife (not that we are married - long story involving me being an atheist until 2010) is cherished by her husband.  Whether they are struggling through infertility, have 1, 2 or more children, they appear to be lovingly cherished by their husbands, and I feel that I am not.

So I sulk.  I know, oh so mature!

And so enters God.

I begin to read some blog posts, and one of the first posts is by Time Warp Wife and then another one by Come Have a Peace.  And so I have a nice timely kick in the butt.

It's not about TJL and his actions, it's about me and MY actions, and my REactions to him.  Do I act in a way that makes him WANT to cherish me?  Do I act in a way that he has the CHANCE to cherish me?  Have I been providing the company and home that he yearns for?

The resounding answer to that would, of course, be NO!

And so, before I begin to complain that TJL is not 'acting' in a way that pleases me, I need to first begin to act in ways that please him.  I need to be more submissive so he knows that I do need his support and help. I need to slow down and give him a chance to approach me with his thoughts and ideas.  I need to keep a better home and garden.  I need to listen to him fully rather than distractedly.  I need to be the person to him that I wish he was to me, and only from that point can we begin to move forward.

I am thankful I have Gods strength to help me work on my many flaws, as I certainly would not be able to progress to where I need to be on my own.  How I survived for 38 years without God I will never know.  Perhaps that is because 'survive' is all that I did do, with God, I know, I can now begin to thrive!


E and R said...

I know how you feel and have been there myself. There is a book I found helpful and it is Christian based - it is called "The Love Dare" and it is a series of acts to follow to show your love for your significant other with the idea that doing these things will make your SO reciprocate those actions. I probably need to do it again as things have been tense around here lately!
Good luck!

Traci@ Beneath My Heart said...

This is a beautiful post! You are not only hearing God's word, but doing God's word. It is evident that God is working in your life. You are understanding something that most women do not understand their whole married lives. When we are hurt by our husbands, the hardest thing to do is look at our own lives to see what needs to be changed. I have a hard time with it too.
Without sounding condescending...I am proud of you. You have been a witness to me today, and I have been a Christian over 30 years.
God bless you on your journey.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope you can join my sister and I as we organize our hearts and home. :)

E and R said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. The nice thing about the book is it isn't something you have to read all at once - just one quick section per day (I usually look ahead a day or two) as it has a specific task to do that day (I usually read it the night before so I can be prepared for the next day). Good luck!