... but not in the way you would think.
So I finally got home today, and after 3.5 hours of thinking, I was excited to be home. Eager to receive the greeting from my significant other, who would be waiting for me like an excited puppy. Cue ...
I'm pretty sure most of my greeting consisted of 'Hello MJ', and then I think there was some talk about mini-sprint race cars and what he has been up to.
In, what feels like ALL the blogs I read, the wife (not that we are married - long story involving me being an atheist until 2010) is cherished by her husband. Whether they are struggling through infertility, have 1, 2 or more children, they appear to be lovingly cherished by their husbands, and I feel that I am not.
So I sulk. I know, oh so mature!
And so enters God.
I begin to read some blog posts, and one of the first posts is by Time Warp Wife and then another one by Come Have a Peace. And so I have a nice timely kick in the butt.
It's not about TJL and his actions, it's about me and MY actions, and my REactions to him. Do I act in a way that makes him WANT to cherish me? Do I act in a way that he has the CHANCE to cherish me? Have I been providing the company and home that he yearns for?
The resounding answer to that would, of course, be NO!
And so, before I begin to complain that TJL is not 'acting' in a way that pleases me, I need to first begin to act in ways that please him. I need to be more submissive so he knows that I do need his support and help. I need to slow down and give him a chance to approach me with his thoughts and ideas. I need to keep a better home and garden. I need to listen to him fully rather than distractedly. I need to be the person to him that I wish he was to me, and only from that point can we begin to move forward.
I am thankful I have Gods strength to help me work on my many flaws, as I certainly would not be able to progress to where I need to be on my own. How I survived for 38 years without God I will never know. Perhaps that is because 'survive' is all that I did do, with God, I know, I can now begin to thrive!