"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Big girl pants

So I did it, I phoned CYFS, but I didn't get very far as the lady who deals with inter-country adoptions isn't in until tomorrow.  Told you, very small country, it sounds like only one person deals with it ... lol.  Hopefully she phones tomorrow, or the next day, otherwise I am back at work and TJL might have to deal with it - oh no!  lol   The cool thing was, on my drive back from town Joyce Meyer came on the radio with the profound words she once heard 'do it afraid', and so that is how I am choosing to approach this foray into adoption.  Do.  It.  Afraid.   So, in-spite of my fears that Trent is not 100% onboard with adoption (see next paragraph), in-spite of my fears that it is going to be 'too hard', 'too expensive', 'too much work' and a whole heap of other things swirling around in my head, I am going to pursue adoption in-spite of my fears.  God will provide all that I need.  God will give TJL confidence.   God will provide the funds. God will see us through the hard work, the trials, the tribulations.  God will direct us to where-ever he needs us to be.

TJL did say today that he is nervous.  And he kept saying 'its a big step'.  And generally I got the impression that he is not all that keen, but he knows how badly I want it, so he is 'going along with it'.  To which, I pointed out that, that just would not work.   It has to be either both of us wanting it or not at all.  I posed the question - 'would you prefer adopted children, or none at all?', and I was not too sure of the answer.  He said he wanted children.  To which I pointed out, that, then, was it not best to get all of the homestudy and checks underway now so we are good to go should adoption be our path.  To which he agreed.  I think, perhaps, that it is happening a bit too quick for him, despite the fact we have been trying to conceive for over 2 years, and I have been mentioning adoption for the last year.  He still holds out hope for a child of our own, whereas I just want children, regardless of where they come from.  And who, aside from God, knows what is going to be.  We may have our own, we may adopt, we may just stay a family of two, regardless of which, it is in Gods hands and we will be happy with his plan.

On another subject, I did a wee bit of a kitchen tidy-up today, so I have chucked in a few before and after photos.  I purchased a small two shelf bookcase for $12.50, which I now store my herbs, spices, and breakfast condiments etc.  I think its pretty amazing how much difference it made to getting my, previously user unfriendly containers of herbs etc off of the bench.  I am very happy with myself!





My new spice and condiment shelves.  I LIKE IT!  (and TJL does too, and thats what counts!)


Bobbi said...

I love before and after pictures! Your kitchen is so cute with the wooden look. :) Good luck while you pursue adoption. I'm so proud to know you. I hope that someday God opens my heart up to the idea of adoption. I'm not quite there, but it may happen someday. I hope everything unfolds just as it's supposed to for you. :)

Allison said...

The before and after pictures are awesome! It's amazing how much difference minor changes can make! Saying prayers as you begin your adoption journey, and you're right: God will provide a way regardless of your fears!