I think the biggest 'problem' I have with being childless, is the fact that I don't feel like I have a family. Yes, I have my parents, and my sister, and TJL and his parents and his sister, and our sisters respective children, but we don't have 'our own' family. We are, quite simply, 'a couple'. A couple of what's might be the question ... hahaha. And yes, we have a dog, and goldfish, and chickens and cows, but even though childless people call them their 'children', quite simply it's just not the same. And so I either think I am missing out, or perhaps I just feel isolated in that I want a family and don't have one, and EVERYONE else out there does (yes, I know logically this statement is far from true, but sometimes it feels that way).
So today I decided that TJL and I ARE a family. That's right, we are a family of 2. If God blesses us with children in this life, whether biological, adopted, or fostered, then YES! Thank you Lord! It will be a dream come true. If he decides that this is not the path for us, then I shall rejoice in, and focus on blessing, my family of 2.
And it's already working. I had to go to the supermarket today after work. I work a roster pattern of 4 days on, 4 days off. And those 4 days on go from 6am to 6pm (so I'm up just before 5am), usually getting home at 6.30pm, so it's a LONG day. I don't mind supermarket shopping, really I don't, well not that much. Sure people are ALWAYS in MY way, and they take FOREVER in the meat section, and park their trolleys in the most INCONVENIENT of places, and I just want to shop as fast as I can and THEY are all holding ME up.
Today, though, I focused on the task of supermarket shopping as blessing my family. I relaxed the pace. By shopping for wholesome food I am blessing MY FAMILY. By selecting cleaning products and bathroom products I am BLESSING my family. And look at all of these other people blessing THEIR families. Oh happy days. And you know what. I shopped with a SMILE on my face, no scowl. And the reception from other people, a smile back. I repeat - Oh. happy.days! By the way, where did I EVER get the idea that I was so much more important than EVERYONE else? What a big head!
And now, I have the slow cooker on ready for tomorrows dinner. To bless my family. We are headed out to a concert tomorrow night, so I figured that I would get the dinner cooked tonight, switch it off tomorrow morning, and then we can just do a quick reheat tomorrow night before heading out.
Can you tell I am LOVING this concept of having discovered that I do have my own family.
It is amazing how the more I open my heart to God, the more I receive, and in ways I never imagined.
God, I love you unconditionally, as you do me!