"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Friday, September 10, 2010

Change one thing in my life

This post is inspired by a post by Stephanie which posed the question "If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?" And her answer was very similar to mine, so I thought that I would share my answer to this question.

My answer is YES! Well, I guess if it wasn't yes this would be a VERY short post.

So WHAT I would like to change is the direction I took straight out of High School - 20 years ago, yep thats TWENTY YEARS AGO! *insert wailing, crying, tantrum here*

When I was in high school my passions were horses and photography. My desire to work with horses was 'dismissed' by my parents when I was around 14. 'There is NO MONEY to be made with horses!' I gave up riding about 1 year later ... don't know whether this was just a 'grow out of it phase' or 'there is no future in this so why bother' attitude.

When I was 18 and deciding what I wanted to do when I left school (I knew it HAD to be further study, I just didn't know what) I brought up the question of attending the Elam College of Arts to study photography. And this idea got 'dismissed' because this 'college' wasn't good enough.


What to do, what to do?

What I did was, study psychology for 1 year, study science for 1 year (failed), studied psychology a second year (failed), drifted, drifted, drifted, studied photography for 6 months, drifted, drifted, drifted, then decided that I really, really wanted to study 'Parks and Recreation', so at 25 went back to university, studied Parks and Recreation for 1 year, upped it to a double degree of Parks and Rec, and Conservation and Ecology. 3 years into the 4 year double degree decided to leave with just a Degree in Conservation and Ecology (failed internet relationship, led to depression, led to leaving early). So I finally did get that degree (A average no less), but NO JOBS, passion soon waned, blah blah blah.

And where am I now? I have a job that pays 'well' but I don't enjoy it, and I think about what could have been had I followed my passions way back when.

I am, however, now pursuing the photography and horses dream by being an equestrian event photographer in my spare time. And I am getting back into my photography so much that I am looking at getting back into art photography as well.

I'm nearly 39. Life could have been SO different had I had the 'guts' or the 'drive' to follow my passions when I was 15 or 18. But I can not WASTE the rest of my life with the what if's, I now have to get the guts, and get the drive, and follow my passions, and 'get' the life I desire.

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