"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Wellness - Mentally angry

Current weight is 89.7kg, that is a loss of 200 grams this week.  

It's better than a gain,  but I do need to work so much harder!  The Olympics has inspired me to possibly get back into running (off road preferably), but I definitely won't be starting that until IVF #2 is done and dusted.  I can, of course, go for off road walks, which I do daily over the farm, but I might just extend that to walking around the lake up the road.  Maybe.  When the weather is not so awful!

Or it's all just pie in the sky Olympics wannabe dreaming and my running shoes stay in my closet gathering dust.

Mentally Angry

The last couple of days I have just been so ANGRY.  I have been asking God to help me be calm, and I think I have been a bit calmer than I feel like I would have been, but seriously, I have just been so SNAPPY the last couple of days.

I have been AWFUL, no other word for it.

Case in point, I had planned to stay up last night to watch the mens triathlon at the Olympics.  This is the only event, other than the women's triathlon, that I could be bothered staying up to watch live.  TJL went to bed after putting Georgie Bird to bed.  We left the blanket that covers George's cage open so he could see me, but that wasn't good enough.  George screeched 'bloody murder'.  He was at full sound, and would not stop, so I packed a temper tantrum, switched off the TV, called the bird all sorts of unpleasant names, and stomped off to bed, where I proceeded to swear about the dang bird.

This was full blown rage.

I don't know where it has come from.  

And as I said, it has been over the last couple of days.

Can I blame being on birth control?
Can I blame it on the fact my period is nearly due (ie 3 BCP to go)?
Can I blame it on the fact that I have a sick calf in the shed that I just can't get to drink very well, so I am stressed?

Whatever the cause I should just not be this way.  No excuse is good enough.

No wonder the man won't pick a wedding date, I wouldn't marry me at the moment either!


I did feel quite a bit better tonight when my sick calf actually looked a bit perkier, had a 'solid' poop (parenting blog anyone??  .... hahaha) and managed to drink 1.5 litres of milk.  Trouble is, it takes him A  LONG  TIME  to drink that 1.5 litres.  Talk about muck around - he does about 10 sucks and then stops, which makes me think he may have a bit of trouble physically somewhere.  Sad thing is, he is 'just a bobby calf', so in a couple of days he will be trucked off, provided I feel he is well enough to travel that is.  He was old enough to have gone today, but I didn't think he was strong enough.  Hopefully he continues to drink now, so he can go on Friday.  He is definitely looking happier, so that's great!

So yes, I am feeling calmer, and I really, really, really hope and pray that it continues as I really, really, really don't like myself as an angry bird!  I am definitely asking God for his assistance every morning while I am like this!

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