"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Excited trepidation

This Friday I am handing in my notice at work.  I will finish my employment on 29 September.  From this point I will not have any paid employment.  That's no guaranteed income for me.   I am apprehensive about this because I have have always worked for my own money, excluding a few short stints on unemployment when I was a LOT younger and much more ignorant, and the years I was studying at University.  And to be perfectly honest I think I would be a bit wack-a-doodle if I wasn't a bit nervous about such a big change.  I also know that I am not going to be comfortable spending 'TJL's' money, and I definitely will not be comfortable asking TJL for money.  I know he is fine with this decision, but I also know I am NOT going to be able to have the excesses of junk that I usually spend my $$ on (magazines and food are my two worst vices), which is actually a good thing.

I am excited though.  Excited to get out of the company I work for, and away from the gossiping, whispering colleagues.  Excited that I will have time to work on getting my photographic business up and running A LOT better.  Excited to develop more photographic skills and expand my portfolio, plus earn a bit of pocket money.  Excited to learn more about dairy farming, in particular milking two days a week for TJL so he gets a bit of a break each week.  Excited to have the time to get back into tramping and fitness (goodbye 20kgs of weight that I have put on over the last 3 years at my job), and to get back into visiting art galleries etc.  Excited to have the time to plant, care, and harvest a decent vegetable garden.  Excited that if TJL and I manage to get pregnant I will be able to nurture and take care of the pregnancy without the stresses of work.  Excited that if TJL and I don't get pregnant, I will already be at home, ready to take in Home For Life foster kids at a moments notice.  And I am excited that I won't be working 12 hour days, when there is only 6 hours worth of work to be done.

The excitement FAR outweighs the trepidation, and thus the reasoning for this decision.  I am so grateful I have TJL for this journey, as if I was alone I could not afford to do it, and many men out there today wouldn't let me do it either.  So thank you Lord for bringing such a wonderful man into my life.  Of course, if this does not work out for us (most likely scenario is that I will want more 'play' money) then I will have to find myself another job.  But I do plan to give my photography business my best shot (ahhhhh pun!) to avoid this.

Bring on my 'new' life in a months time!  Oh so excited, with a dash of trepidation.

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