"Worrying about tomorrow means that you are missing some of today" Corey Allan of Simple Marriage

Friday, January 18, 2013

Ba ha ha ha ha

The last three blog posts I wrote have the word 'back' in them.  

And whaddayaknow, I'm back for the forth time in a row.

Nothing exciting to report, but I do feel like it may be time to get back into writing again.  I wonder if that is the forth time in a row that I have said that??!!

So I have just started doing the 365 Project.  I am a couple of weeks behind so only have three photos up so far.  The best thing about it is that I am encouraged to take my camera with me everywhere to document my life.  Feels good to be photographing anything other than horses for a change.  It also means that I am redeveloping my 'how to use my camera in certain situations' skills.  Skills so long forgotten since cameras are now so automatic.  Automatic in ways that I don't like in that it has dumbed down the user, aka me!  Automatic in ways that I do like, self adjusting during an event where I don't have time to monitor light changes all. the. time.  But it does make me LAZY, and I really don't need much encouragement to be LAZY.

It got me to thinking this morning, while hosing out the milking shed for T, that I might do a second 365 project about infertility and moving on in childlessness.  If I can.  I was really thinking 'I wish I had done 365 last year, documenting two IVF treatments etc', would have been FANTASTIC!  But was I really in the right headspace last year to do that?  Probably not.  It almost tempts me to want to do IVF again, just so I can document it photographically.  ALMOST.  But I am too old, and it is too expensive just for me to do a photo essay on it.  So yeah, I might do it.  We do have one embryo to go of course, so it is going to be a year of changes whatever the outcome.  Complete childlessness, or miracle of miracles.  That said, yes, yes I will do it!

Link to 365 Project, Inconceivable

And while on the topic of infertility and childlessness, there are more and more days where I am appreciating our childless state.  This is more a reflection on my age now than anything else.  If I was younger I would still be pursuing children in whatever way I could, but being 41 I'm getting a bit set in my was.  Case in point, yesterday was T's 38th birthday.  His entire family invited themselves over for afternoon tea.  His sister has 4 kids.  The noise was INCREDIBLE.  Just constant yelling.  There are no quiet voices in that lot.  And never have I been more enthusiastic about heading out to do an afternoon milk than I was yesterday.  They had only been here 30 odd minutes and I was OUT  THE  DOOR to the sanctuary of our quiet cows.

Got home to chocolate cake crumbs all over, and mushed into the carpet.

Childlessness APPRECIATED in its fullest, right there!

And in other news, we got a new dog for Christmas.  His name is Max, and is from the SPCA.  HuntawayX, needing a lot of training, but very cool.

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