The decision to signify the end

So we had pretty much decided that yep, we are done trying for kids anymore, we are definitely happy to progress as a couple. The end.

The final, final decision is to have our remaining embryo destroyed.  I have the paperwork, it's all signed, and yet I still hesitate.  Crazy!  I'm 43.  I don't want a baby!  I like our freedom!  Yet there is still a small part of me that thinks, what if ...

I had asked about donating the embryo, assuming there would be a waiting list of people want one.  But no.  We'd have to do TWO psych evaluations, plus then the couple have to choose us, we have to choose them, such a huge rigmarole, so I said, nup, destroy it.

I can understand needing our info regarding health etc, and I'd be happy for my email address to be provided should the embryo become a child and they wanted to know about me (I've had the same email addy for 20 years so unlikely to ever change), but I'm just not going to spend the time faffing about with having the embryo adopted, which is essentially how they treat it.

I do get that it's probably a lot more complicated than I think it should be, but still, I do feel a bit guilty that there is someone somewhere out there that might want it.