Oh so busy!

My goodness, I have not posted in a long time, and I am so busy that this will be a very quick one.

Photographed Horse of the Year from March 13-18.  Took over 9000 photos, which I am STILL editing and uploading.  I have HEAPS to go.

Photographed basketball on Friday night, a one day event on Saturday, and a western show on Sunday.  Basketball photos are done, have not even looked at the others!

I have managed to get my life somewhat sorted though!  I now write a list each morning over breakfast of how I plan on utilising my day from 9amish onwards.  And while I don't always manage to stick to the times, I am certainly getting a lot more done.  Plus I have learned that it doesn't take an hour to check emails and sort photo orders.  At the moment it takes over two!  With the help of my daily list this week I have managed to

:catch up on photo orders

:unpack from Horse of the Year, put all clothes away, give the bedroom a basic tidy

:catch up on washing including folding and putting away.  Washing I am good at, folding and putting away, not so good)

:clean the bathroom

:do the farm accounts (2 months overdue!  The bills were all paid but no actual record of income v expenditure)

:cycle on indoor trainer x 2 mornings

:milk x 1 morning

:walk the dog x 3 evenings (we do live on a farm so she does get a lot of daily exercise)

:update www.mountainairs.org.nz website, and do a tweet for them

And now it is time to get back to editing and uploading photos.

I'm going international!

So the event I photographed on the weekend was kind of a big deal.  It included the first of two Trans Tasman show jumping events (of which NZ beat Australia in the first one - whoop whoop).  Anyway, I was basically booked by Equestrian Sports NZ to photograph the Awards Dinner, and a bit of the event itself.  Usually I just photograph for the competitors so I try to get around the 'lesser' competitors as the top ones have hundreds of photos to chose from.  This time I tried to get some of the top riders.

Anyway, ESNZ contacted me with the riders photos that they wanted for their magazine - which is what I expected.  And they paid me! (well, they will pay me).  I'm glad that they liked my shots.

A photographer from the South Island contacted me for photos for the local newspaper.  Unfortunately I got the message to late to get to print on that one, as far as I know, I never actually heard back from the journalist I had been referred to.  No surprises there, in my experience people are pretty slack at replying and letting you know as to whats going on.

Then I got contacted by NZ Horse and Pony.  I have had a few photos published by them previously.  H&P never actually specified as to what photos they were after, and I sent an email to clarify, but got no reply.  I sent through photos of both the NZ and Aussie teams.  Still haven't heard anything.  See my comment at the end of the previous paragraph.

And then I was contacted by The Horse magazine from AUSTRALIA!  They were even so good as to specify which riders they wanted photos of.  So I sent them through, and they liked them and will pay me $50 a photo!  Thats $50 AUD.  A photo!  Stoked much!  Being published on both sides of the Tasman!  Yea-yeah!

So things are looking up.

Thanks God!

Bitterness and guilt - Pity Party Alert

Ugh. I hate this journey!  Friggin bites the big one!  I respond to people with a *smile, I'm fine* but really, inside I'm wondering 'Why is this so hard!?'  

My friend's husband (they had their baby last week) has Facebooked every day about how happy he is, and how much he loves his wife, and the baby is perfect.  Todays post was 'last week J and I went to the hospital as a couple and today we come home as a family'.  *Stomach Punch!*  Now this guy had a serious accident at 20ish and is a paraplegic, so he never thought he would get a wife, let alone have a baby, so I understand his excitement, but ENOUGH  ALREADY!!!!  SHEESH!!!!  And they got UTD after about 3 months of trying … friggin' bully for them!  

But I do know, and acknowledge, that I'm just bitter and twisted because of extreme jealously, and I will get over it … I always do … but I'm tired of it.  

I am tired of the guilt for feeling like I am ruining everyone else's 'we're pregnant news', as they have to be careful in case it hurts me too much *smile, CONGRATULATIONS, that's awesome news, I'm fine, really*

I'm tired of not being social because I feel like I just don't fit in, and have to wear my fake happy face while surrounded by a bunch of parents who do nothing but tell stories about their kids, and swap parenting advice.

I'm tired of hating the fact that TJL is super spermo and all the fault lies with me, and I know if I would LOSE SOME DAMN WEIGHT that it would help, but I'm just too tired to do it!  And I'm tired of thinking *how friggin stupid is that?  If you wanted kids bad enough you would just do it!*

And I am tired of having my life on hold and feeling like I want to curl up into bed and just stay there.

What I want:

I want to get up, get active, and get out into life

I want to stop moping around

I want to stop procrastinating

I want to stop hating myself

Pity party over!!!

A change of pace

Tonight I photographed the Show Jumping Awards dinner at 'The Hub' in Hawera.  

I don't photograph people well.  I am incredibly shy, and not good at directing people to where I think they should go, I totally lack confidence.  Thus, I don't direct people, I just do my best to get the shot I want … stupid, stupid, stupid.  This is completely why I photograph sports.  The participants are focused on what they are doing, not what I would like them to do, and thats how I like it.  I like to be invisible.  Thankfully tonight the MC directed the people to the side to have their photos taken.  Such a life saver! 

Tonight I also had trouble with my flash.  To be perfectly honest I really don't like automatic cameras.  No, now lets be totally honest, I haven't read the manual on how to work 'manual' mode properly, therefore I can't use it.  NOTE  TO  SELF …  READ  THE  MANUAL!!!  I can do either aperture priority, or shutter speed priority, but I have no idea how to over-ride both, which is what I needed tonight.  I'm sorry technology, but you don't always know what is best OR what I want!!

And finally, they had projected images going up on the back wall, that meant some of the people I photographed had/have colour casts across their faces.

However, they actually aren't all bad.  They aren't stunning, or award winning, or even close to perfectly awesome, but they aren't all bad, which is good.

Rosettes

Tables

Platter, schedule, and horse shoe

See the colour-cast on the gentleman's face!  Not good

A much better shot!  (Away from the projector)

I have 141 to burn to a couple of disks, to give to NZ Equestrian tomorrow, and I sure hope that they have some suitable for use.

And they are now in the process of burning, but I want to go to bed!  One disk to go!